Pulled by the Tide of Past Patterning

I retract within

At the words

The possible energy inspiring them

The meaning I perceive in my murky reaction

In the state of illusion

From this reaction

I retract

The wave of emotion draws me into the tide

And I get caught

In the pull

Taken away from feeling full

Forgetting the stable shore of my heart

The grounded truth of my soul

The essence of me

Of living consciously

So I'm carried away

And the tide is strong

pulling me to a time before

A pattern past

That’s wants to make the truth wrong

Irrelevant feelings that have somehow last

Through my growth

And my clarity

And inner grounding

It has resurfaced

To make itself heard

In response to these words

That are only

Words

That if I heard while I was still on my stable shore

I would hear the truth

That it simple

That is expressing

Sharing

Reaching out

For me to reflect

Instead

I retract

As my pattern defends and reacts

Seeks ways to find meaning

That proves to itself

that it is right

That this old worn out feeling

of being not enough

‘Should’ be held tight

The pattern feels this need

To make itself heard

To be valid

And in power

As it knows

That on the shore of my self, it’s not needed anymore

That on the shore of my essence, I am enough

Grasping and clenching at ways to pull me in

It yearns to stay alive

But I feel the current waning

I feel the pull lessen

I feel myself again able

To swim

To glide

To flow out of the tide

Gracefully landing upon the shore

Glistening with water, ready to soar

Above the ocean of insecurity

To land again

And ground

Back home

And I meet you there

I see you there

I’m sorry I left

I’m sorry I let the tide pull me away

I’m sorry I let you feel for a moment

Who I am not

Rather than stay

But I am now here

I've arrived

Back with you

My dear

And I will endeavour to feel in the future

that moment of the waters lapping at my feet

Trying to pull me in

And I will seek

to stay on my shore of who I am

In truth

Grounded

Stable

From there we are able to know

What is real

What we truly feel

What makes us both soar

For here, there is love

And I need nothing more.